There’s people we date and people we friend-zone. That’s it.
Not too long ago, I came across someone that actually made me feel guilty for friend-zoning guys, and I started second-guessing myself. After all, nobody’s perfect (I know that) and maybe I should give the “nice guy” a chance, since I think he’s a great person, in the first place (“otherwise I wouldn’t be friends with him” type of situation). I decided to try and see what happens.
The verdict: I don’t know if I would go as far as saying I regret it, but it wasn’t too positive for me. I did learn something valuable, though: never second-guess my gut instinct. Somehow, if I’m interested in someone, I just feel instinctively drawn to that person. If I’m not, I don’t. So far, every time I’ve had the gut feeling not to be with someone and I gave the friend a chance, my feelings either didn’t evolve into anything more (and without emotion, even kissing them is void of any sparks), or I found out something about them that affirmed why I shouldn’t date them, or why we’re not a good match, etc. It’s not even about flaws. More about compatibility - and my gut instinct seems to know all about that.
Looking back on the guys I’ve been really interested in - they weren’t perfect, either. It was never about finding the handsome, model type. They were just the kind of person that sparked a curiosity in me to get to know more, to look at their lips and wanna kiss them, to wonder how they think about everything, to wanna rip their clothes off ;)
So, I decided to stop trying to convince, or guilt-trip myself into liking someone just because THEY like ME.
And to the guy in the friend-zone: consider the fact that you’re better off without me. I tried, but I’ll never be able to love you how you deserve to be loved. I’ll never be crazy about you the way you would crave a girl to be. Just because one girl says no, doesn’t mean another will. We’re all so different. Choose the one that’s more into you :)